i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
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Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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