I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
