Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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