my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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