dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
