i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My liver just broke up with me...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am available for nakedness
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
