I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
