I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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