we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
