so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
