U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this boner is exhausting
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
