Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
