just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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