eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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