so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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