No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
