He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
