You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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