You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
