Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
