is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
