tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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