Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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