Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
