Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
