Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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