I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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