alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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