I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
