he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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