i think my tv is drunk
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
