Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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