I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
