"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
