Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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