I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
