a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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