i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just cropdusted the office
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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