i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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