do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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