Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
