Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
