he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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