I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she looked like the before picture.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
