We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
