My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
