Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
