some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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