never play flip cup with pint glasses
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
