he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
