Apparently you make a good broom.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
