Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
