He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
