some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
