Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
