The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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