He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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