im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize